degrassifandomcom-20200223-history
Talk:Watch Out Now/@comment-3575890-20150426143416
I had the WEIRDEST dream ever, and I just have to share it because it's the first in the longest time that I've been able to remember a dream in such vivid detail, and one that's been SUCH a wakeup call for me. I'm going to try to condense it as best as I can, but it's still going to be quite long: I was back in high school, so in this dream I was obviously much younger. I was really late to class and rushing to get going. I ended up getting a ride from some guy who I don't know at all - by this, I mean, I don't know who he is looking back on it, but in the dream, I was very familiar with him. I actually think he was my boyfriend, but I'm not sure. Anyways, I get there and I realize I've missed first period and that the next is gym. That's always been my least favorite subject, so being me I drag my feet getting there, lol. Turns out we're swimming this period (which is weird none of the high schools I actually went to ever had a pool). So I get to the lockers and all of my old high school classmates are there - most of them are girls I HATED in high school. None of my actual friends from high school are in sight. So I decide I don't want to swim with them and skip class (lol classic high school me). I start walking home when out of nowhere my parents appear in the street. I tell them I need to go home and they don't even question it. They start walking home with me. This is where it gets really weird. On the way back, I start noticing that my usual route home looks a little different than usual. These aren't dramatic differences, but minor nuances that only somebody that'd walked that route a million times in their life would notice. I start getting this uneasy feeling in my stomach that gradually intensifies the more obvious the scenic differences become. I start thinking I'm going crazy when my mom is like, "something isn't right." Dad notices the changes too, and we're all wondering what the fuck is going on, but we don't know what else to do other than keep heading home. When we arrive, my mom is the first to get inside the house. Before I can even step foot in, I can hear her exclaim, "this isn't our home!" And to my horror, I realize it really isn't. The decor is completely different, it's not the same furniture, the walls are a different color. I can tell it's still my house; somebody had just seemingly remodelled the hell out of it, which was impossible because it had looked as it always had only a little over an hour ago before I left for school. As we're all trying to wrap our heads over what's going on, the front door opens and in walks a man and woman that looks EXACTLY like my mom and dad. When they see us, they're just as shocked and confused as we are. But what's really creepy, is how they react to seeing me. They begin to cry and stare wide-eyed at me as if they're seeing a ghost. It's then that I figure out that me and my parents have somehow ended up in some parallel dimension. My dad and his parallel self are the first to come to terms with it having always been enthusiasts of the parallel universe theory. They hit it off instantly and proceed to theorize how this happened. My mom and her parallel self, however, are shaken and scared. They don't understand what's going on, and who the hell can blame them? Meanwhile, I'm sitting there just trying to figure out how the fuck I'll be able to differentiate these people from my parents. We figure out that the only differences between us is that we have different names. My dad's parallel self's name is Lee and my mom's is Sarah. (Lol shoutout, TOP!) I don't know who the hell mine is. I never meet her. She's away somewhere and I don't even ask. Besides the name differences though, we are basically the same people with the same lives, just with very slight nuances. It is then that I realize my brother is missing from the picture. When I ask where he is, my parallel parents begin to tear up. I know then what they don't have to tell me, but they do anyway. I learn he died in this universe a long time ago. I begin to cry as I'm hit with the most gut-wrenching realization - I'll never see my brother again. He's still back in the other universe, now all alone, because his family abandoned him for this world, where he doesn't exist at all. I decide I may as well ask where I am too. WARNING AHEAD I learn I died a few years ago. The loss of my brother was too much and I committed suicide. It was enough to finally wake me up. I'm sitting here still mulling over how bone-chilling it all was; especially because it hit so close to home since I was very suicidal when I was in my teens, and lately have been having those tendencies again. I think this was my subconscience's way of telling me that I need to get help for myself before I fall back into that same place I was in when I was a teen. In a way I think this dream was kind of a blessing because even though it was just that - a dream - it made me realize I don't want to die. When I woke up, I'd never been so relieved to be alive. I know I'm in bad shape when it's gotten to the point that symptoms of my depression are beginning to carry over into my dreams, the one place I used to be able to escape from it. I don't think I've ever been this affected by a dream in my life, nor have I ever had one that felt so clearly like my subconscious was trying to get a message out to me. I need help. I'm not well and I haven't been for a very long time. I need to wake up for real.